Life.

It has been almost 3 years since I posted on my blog and a lot has been happening ever since. Currently, I am a final-year student in Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM), majoring in Economics. I took a dual-degree program, so Iast year, I spent a year in Erasmus School of Economics (ESE) and finished my thesis there. As soon as I returned from ESE, my plan was straightforward: Complete my credits and do my community service so that I can graduate on May, apply for a master’s program, and find an internship to keep myself occupied between my “planned” graduation and my “planned” master’s.

Apparently, the odds are not always in my favor. I have not graduated yet, my master’s application got rejected, and the COVID-19 pandemic happens. In the end, I went to a different path. So, in this post, I would like to share on getting rejected for master’s. This post will be divided into two parts: The story and the reflection. Hope you enjoy reading it!

Part 1: The Story

I applied to two universities.

I applied to two universities: The first is in the Netherlands, the second is in Denmark. After a long decision-making process, I finally decided to go for programs that are in the intersection of business and economics. Initially, I planned to continue studying in the Netherlands. As I have studied there for my undergraduate, a GRE or GMAT is unnecessary so I skipped them. After looking for alternatives and hearing great stories from a Danish friend who was on exchange in UGM, I became very interested to study in Denmark, especially since it has an interesting dual-master program. Besides, it would be awesome to study in a Scandinavian country renowned for its excellent education system and experience living in a country that I’ve never visited before. 

Upon my final semester, my master’s applications became my priority. I wrote and revised my motivation letters and resume everyday, studied for IELTS so that it could meet the requirement, asked for recommendation letters, and coordinated to complete my administration documents. In the end, I managed to send my applications on time.

Back then, I felt confident about my applications. I mean, let’s be honest. I am not applying to ivy leagues. I know that I don’t have the most outstanding grades nor an extraordinary profile, but (I hypothesise that) I am also not the worst. I’ve been a responsible and a cooperative student. I paid attention in classes and tutorials, submitted my assignments on time, never copied solution manuals or plagiarized someone else’s work, participated in class and group discussions, studied hard, and my CGPA meets the minimum requirement (above 3 out of 4). Isn’t this enough to get accepted and survive in a graduate school? 

I got rejected. 

Unfortunately, it’s not. Before the COVID-19 pandemic worsens, one of my applications got rejected already. I am sure that everyone has experienced rejections, so the default advice would be to move on. I have kept reminding myself to prepare for the worst. Maybe it’s just me, but when I am faced with reality, sometimes it just hits me hard man. I thought that I was prepared until I realized that I was not. It feels like all those hours preparing and countless revisions are flushed out in seconds. I was speechless. 

On the bright side, the rejection letter stated why. In order to take the program, I should have at least taken a marketing class and another accounting class. I did not take any marketing class and only took one accounting class. Those courses are offered in UGM and ESE, most of my friends took it. But, somehow, I did not take that requirement seriously. I assumed that because this is an Economics-related master’s program, studying Economics for my undergraduate is enough. I had plenty of credits that I thought could compensate the marketing and accounting requirement. So, by now, we can conclude three mistakes already:

1. I did not ask to ensure that key component and it turns out to be fatal. Had I known this since the beginning, I would have applied somewhere else. Instead, I had my hopes up high already.

2. I only applied to two universities. I am sure that there will be more rejections as I apply more, but now I could not reconsider anything as I was left with no choice. This was a mistake as I underestimated the probability of rejections and other errors I committed. Now you see that I regret for not even trying to apply to other programs. 

3. Had I planned this better, I could have taken those two classes. 

What’s next?

I can kiss graduate schools goodbye for now. As I mentioned earlier, the odds are not in my favor. If you wonder on what happens to the other application, I got a conditional offer. And the condition is that I should have my diploma sent in August and unfortunately, I have not graduated yet. Further, my parents are worried that the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have not shown apparent recovery signs yet in Indonesia. This leaves a lot of uncertainties, even after the pandemic ends. In the end, we reached a consensus that it’s not ideal for me to leave for now. Hence, I did not proceed any master’s application and cancelled my plans to apply to other universities. 

The fact that I am not leaving for master’s anyway makes this rejection seems easier for me. Perhaps you also experience this, but this far the year 2020 has been "interesting." After all, maybe this was meant to be a lesson for me. The next time I’m applying for a master’s, I will be VERY careful and considerate. But for now, goodbye master’s, see you soon graduation, and hello new journey. I know, it is completely different from what I planned, but I am too excited about it. Excelsior. 

Part 2: The reflection

This experience somehow reminds me of the “unobservable.” When we are predicting an outcome like grades or probability of success, we can control all different kinds of variables like hours of hard work, IQ, etc. But, apparently these variables are not sufficient to reach a 100% accuracy of your prediction. We still have the “unobservable,” which could not be controlled because they are supposed to be unobserved. These unobservables can be positive in a way that it improves our result, or it can also be counterproductive. LUCK, a pandemic, a bad day/mood, are some examples. So even if I meet the requirements (in which I don't), so on and so forth, it actually still does not give me a 100% guarantee that I will get accepted. However, what we can do is:

1. Do our best and improve in what we can control in order to increase our predicted outcomes like grades or probability of success. As I go on and do more attempts, there will be a better chance that I can meet my “predicted” value.

2. Minimize the impact of unobservables. E.g. keep yourself healthy so that you’re not sick on an exam day, get enough sleep so that you can concentrate in reading and understanding an application requirement hahaha

I try apply this thinking into how I perceive my results. In good days, I remind myself that I am also lucky that I was in a good mood and a good shape. In bad days, when I am sick and could not concentrate, I can be reckless and screw up. So… 

1. I don’t know if this can make you feel better. But if you ever fail, don’t worry, I have LOTS OF THEM, really. Sometimes I know why, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I think it’s fair, sometimes I feel cheated. It just happens, it can be beyond my control and it is okay. 

2. Try to minimize the impact of our unobservable or accidents. When we are unsure about something and have the opportunity to ask, do not hesitate to ask instead of making assumptions, especially when it’s an essential/fundamental thing. Whether it’s an assignment, a key concept, an application, etc., it’s always better to ask rather than making silly mistakes. We never know, there might be even rooms for negotiations or exceptions (e.g. I do not meet a particular requirement, I can ask if there is a solution/alternative for it, which I did not do)

3. Read applications requirements VERY carefully:’) This sounds trivial, but at least I made that mistake. Don’t repeat the same mistake. 

4. It’s better to plan ahead. For example, in applying for jobs or master’s, we can always plan and prepare, have a clear vision in mind. In that way, we can perhaps think of how we can improve our predicted outcomes and minimize the counterproductive unobservables. 

5. Confidence is super cool but not to the extent that it could make us underestimate and take things easily. 

A short remark on love: Everyone has their “Shining Armor”

A Reflection from The Knight in Shining Armor (in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray)  

Source: DeviantArt

Source: Amazon 

“Deep inside every man, there is a hero or a knight in shining armor. More than anything, he wants to succeed in serving and protecting the woman he loves. When he feels trusted, he is able to tap into his noble part of himself. He becomes more caring. When he doesn’t feel trusted, he loses some of his aliveness and energy, and after a while he can stop caring.

Imagine a knight in shining armor traveling through the countryside. Suddenly he hears a woman crying out in distress. He comes alive, races to her castle, where she is trapped by a dragon. The noble knight pulls out his sword and slays the dragon. As a result, he is lovingly received by the princess. As the gates open, he is welcomed and celebrated by the family of the princess and the townspeople. He is invited to live in town and is acknowledged as a hero. He and the princess fall in love.

A month later, the noble knight goes off on another trip. On his way back, he heard his beloved princess crying out for help. Another dragon attacked the castle and so as he arrived, he pulls out his sword to slay the dragon.

Before he swings, the princess cries out from the tower, “Don’t use your sword, use this noose. It will work better.” She throws him the noose and motions to him instructions about how to use it. In the end, the dragon dies and everyone rejoices. At the celebration dinner, the knight feels he didn’t do anything. Somehow, because he used her noose and didn’t use his sword, he doesn’t quite feel worthy of the town’s trust and admiration. After the event, he is slightly depressed and forgets to shine his armor.

A month later he goes on yet another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful and tells him to take the noose. On his way home, he sees yet another dragon attacking the castle. This time he rushes forward with his sword but hesitates, thinking maybe he should use the noose. In that moment of hesitation, the dragon breathes fire and burns his right arm. In confusion he looks up and sees his princess waving from the castle window.

                “Use the poison,” she yells. “The noose doesn’t work.”

She throws him the poison, which he pours into the dragon’s mouth, and the dragon dies. Everyone rejoices and celebrates, but the knight feels ashamed. A month later, he goes on another trip. As he leaves his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful, and to bring the noose and the poison He is annoyed by her suggestions but brings them just in case.

This time on his journey, he hears another woman in distress. As he rushes to her call, his depression is lifted and he feels confident and alive. But as he draws his sword to slay the dragon, he again hesitates. He wonders, Should I use my sword, the noose, or the poison? What would the princess say?

For a moment, he is confused. But then he remembers how he had felt back in the days when he only carried a sword. With a burse of renewed confidence, he throws off the noose and poison and charges the dragon with his trusted sword. He slays the dragon and the townspeople rejoice.

The knight in the shining armor never returned to his princess. He stayed in this new village and lived happily ever after. He eventually married, but only after making sure his new partner knew nothing about nooses and poisons.” 

This particular piece in the book won my attention to an extent that I decided to observe further. At first, I took the story literally as if all humans in nature should think and react so. As I saw it that way, negativity was the first belief that echoed in my mind. Why would the knight overreact and whisk away just because the princess introduced him to other alternatives? Did he really think he is the best? Who does he think he is? The poison or the noose could have been a better solution to slay the dragon!

In this context, I implied two misconceptions. First, I did not take into account that it was a book on relationships and second, I took the perspective of the princess solely. If this was a book on human potential elevation and ultimate problem-solving then yes, the knight should have considered the princess’ advice since it could have been a better solution. Just like students and humans in general, one should never stop learning and developing.

But let’s say that “sword” represents “strengths” and he is an intelligent knight. In a literal way, intelligence is the sword. His people and family might consider his intelligence as a strength but it might be considered as a threat by his competitors and the princess, who thinks she is much smarter. Well, this reminds us that in life, we cannot and will not please everybody no matter what. No matter how good and noble our actions are, there is always someone out there who thinks it is a turn off.

Then maybe, that is what happens in love, perhaps. The sword itself is proven to be qualified enough to defy the dragon. If the significant other does not even approve one’s sword, underrate and try to mess it around instead, is it really worth sacrificing the sword? In that case, the knight, whose pride lies on his sword, might think that the princess is not worth it and she is just abusing his self-assurance. Especially, another woman out there is proud of his sword (for who he is). We can just keep in mind that chances are still out there that might be another knight who possesses a noose or poison (which poses as a shining armor for him) and suits the princess better.

On another note, I still believe that as humans, potentials and opportunities are worth exploring. Moreover, if you are truly fond of someone, then you might want the best for him/her and improve yourself. This makes me think that maybe the knight, after living with the other woman, starts to explore more on nooses and poisons just in case something worse is yet to come. However, there are things that you cannot neglect such as your shining armor. No matter what or who you love, your strengths deserve to be acknowledged by people (especially by the people that matters to you) instead of letting them make you think that you are worthless.

I believe that I learned an important lesson here. In the context of love and relationships, it is probably hard to change someone. Love and experience may be the things that shape who we are today (example: The experience of being taught by a teacher, the experience of failing, the experience when you feel inspired, etc). Thus, we should accept and love people for who they are. If there is a saying “accept them for who they are,” then I am starting to believe that it is kinda true. If someone really loves you and is willing to change for the better, then it is good news. But when it is not a happy ending, then there is not much that you can do but there is always a spark of hope that in another timeline, it will be a happy ending. At the end of the day, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses right?

 

p.s. You might wanna check out John Gray’s Ted Talk “Mars brain, Venus brain..” (link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuM7ZS7nodk)  

Problem Solving: The Not-so-Random "Televator"

Source: RNIB

With 2 mandatory essays (Management and Indonesian Language and Culture (ILC)) to be submitted weekly, I don’t consider myself amounting the same effort for each essay. The essays for Management were supposed to consist of 2 pages, a summary on the first and an opinion on the second. However, ever since the lecturer rephrased somewhere in the 3^rd week that the 2-page essay is “Up to you (the content), as long as it’s no more than 2 page,” I decided not to invest too much time stressing out. 

First of all, I don’t like typing summaries (personal preference) and prefer to jot them down. Second, it's hard for me to express an “opinion” for something I just learned. Thus, this encouraged the idea of doing study cases for the sake of saving time and improving the content quality. Moreover, it made 2-page essays seem less of a tough job.

Since I haven’t written anything for the past 2 weeks due to mid-term exams, I can now capture a quick celebration before it morphs into a slight fear that the lecture materials learned in the past few months will permeate. In retrospect, I opted to open some folders that comprised the essays I wrote so far in this semester.  Among the weekly topics, week four was not meant to be a typical week as it embedded in our daily human experience: decision making.

Various sources show that the average adult make 35,000 decisions each day (yep, Google). In fact, the figures make sense when we compare it with other studies. For instance, Brian Wansink, the John S. Dyson Professor of Marketing and of Applied Economics at Cornell, observed that we tend to make more than 200 food-related decisions. Surprisingly, his respondents thought they only made 15 decisions when it was proven that they account to many more decisions, even when they’re unaware of it.

Decision making attributes to the success of individuals, companies, and even our society, especially when being faced with a situation or a problem. Who we are accumulates our decision making as well: The higher role/status a person holds, the higher degree of responsibility one takes, the more decision one makes. As an example, a businessman decides for his company’s behalf and his family, whereas his son tends to focus on himself. As a result, sometimes it’s more about the quality than just the quantity in order to take precise courses of actions. Thus, it is fair to associate decision making and problem solving.

In the first 2017 edition of Harvard Business Review magazine, there was a fascinating featured article regarding problem solving. Thomas Wedell, who is a consultant and a speaker, wrote about how effective a company is at problem solving. Based on the in-depth research conducted by him and his colleague, Paddy Miller, 85 percent of the surveyed C-suite executives admitted that their companies struggle with problem diagnosis, resulting in a significant higher cost.

Supporting the statement, they provided the case of “the slow elevator.” The issue centered on tenants and people who complain, resulting in an initial assumption of proposing a solution to “make the elevator faster.” With this approach, they can either install new lifts or upgrade the motors although it would be costly and time consuming. Moving on, when managers reframed the problem, they decided that it was not the elevator that needs fixing, it’s how they define the problem itself.

Many times when we fail to put everything in perspective, we find it hard to open to new options. Just like what happened with “the slow elevator,” the objective shifted as they broadened their understanding of the problem. Instead of insisting that the problem lies on the elevator, the new orientation was solving the problem of “waiting too long.” Feasible solutions were then brought to the table such as putting mirrors, hand sanitizers, without having to “make the elevator faster.”

Speaking of elevators, I still remember back in Jakarta, I couldn’t help noticing the televisions inside the elevator or above elevator buttons outside. Skepticism evoked me with WHY entertaining people who are waiting for an elevator matters. You can’t even watch a single Phineas and Ferb episode, such a waste to put TVs in/before an elevator. Having amplified that it’s actually a “cheaper” solution compared to installing new elevators, the what-so-called random phenomenon of “Televator” turned out to be purposeful after all.

As a reflection, reading this article provided me not only with new insights on the implementation of management, but most importantly the stories behind the (it-seems-random) events we encountered in our daily lives. I have come to a realization that misunderstanding and underestimating things shouldn’t be cultivated. To my joy, the article proved a profound point to never stop finding answers and solutions even when it seemed like the end of the tunnel. Just like in business, a lesson can always be ingrained and flourishing is always a possibility, despite the inherently competitive nature.

References:

Lang, Susan S. (2006, December 22). ‘Mindless autopilot’ drives people to dramatically underestimate how many daily food decisions they make, Cornell Study finds. Retrieved from http://news.cornell.edu/stories/2006/12/mindless-autopilot-drives-people-underestimate-food-decisions

Wedell, Thomas. (2017, January). How good is your company at problem solving. Harvard Business Review, 79

Study Plan Card (KRS): The Businessperson and the Economist

We don’t get to pick our boss. But hey, we’re aspiring economists and businesspeople.

Source: Chessdailynews

Yesterday was my first time experiencing the struggle of filling my study plan card (we call this Kartu Rencana Studi or the “KRS” system in Indonesia). Basically, there’s a three-day period every semester when everyone gets to fill their KRS through the internet. This enables us to pick our own courses, lecturers and manage our own schedule within the limited time. Not to mention, it adopts the quota system which emerges a fierce battle among people to enter the overcrowded server and make sure they secure a spot in the classes they fancy.

As a first-timer, I can say that it was quite nerve-wracking, challenging yet interesting. I learned a glimpse of art to get strategies and alternatives prepared: Play the cards well and be swift. In fact, people were aware of reviews, recommendations and tips in the hope of getting on track throughout the semester. Most people, myself included, took them into serious consideration and it effected most of my decisions when I filled the KRS.

I realize that this doesn’t resemble a real life situation, probably no firm out there provides a system that gives the subordinates access to pick their superiors, etc. Yes, you get to choose in which company you want to work but not the consequences that follow. You can probably imagine an unlikely situation that allows the employees to pick in which project/task they want to be involved. However, no one guarantees that you’re going to get a pleasant superior. In some cases, you’ll have to deal with a superior who grants unfair promotions, unfair job divisions or even a superior who’s just being unclear and ambiguous throughout the task.

Tracing back to the present situation, let’s say that the lecturer is the boss. One might think that “It’s different, we get paid in firms but in this case, we’re the ones who pay the tuition fee.” Unfortunately, I believe that my parents pay the tuition fee, not me. I’m just a student who’s eager to earn decent grades and settle in a dream job in the future.

This brings out the economist and businessperson in me. The system may not perfectly resemble the ultimate professional world. However, speaking from the rational side of humans, we don’t really take that into account. I mean, there’s plenty of time to learn that later. Meanwhile, we still need those grades and knowledge right?

(Before continuing, they’re just a few points that I believed I’ve learned, so don’t hesitate to correct me if I’m wrong hahaha)

From a business perspective, this system reminds me about values and motivation. In business, value creation is one of the primary keys: You want to increase your worth. The interesting part is that people have different values and in this case, we get to develop those values within ourselves. What do you value the most? Knowledge? Grades? Interactive learning? Insightful lectures? Gabut? (lol, it means doing literally nothing) But again the choices are on the table and the KRS system allows you to choose classes and lecturers that are in line with your values.

Another point is one of the basic traits of a businessperson: An opportunity seeker with determination and persistence. You are probably that persistent and determined in keeping your values that if they run out of quota for the classes you are about to choose, there’s still another opportunity to obtain them. In the KRS system, there are always possibilities for a barter market where people are willing to trade a class we want with a class they want (since there’s a limited quota for each class).

On another note, the economist in me unleashes another story to tell as well. Think about a few of Mankiw’s 10 principles of economics that can be applicable to this system. For instance, the first principle itself: “People face tradeoffs.” Some of the courses overlap with other courses we are required to take and overlapping might also occur among lecturers we want. This means that we should choose one of them and let the other go. Some are favorable tradeoffs and some are the ones we wish we hadn’t had to make.

Second is the opportunity cost of taking that class. The activities that could've been done with time sacrificed for attending those lectures and the lectures you gave up during the KRS period is a part of the opportunity cost. And last, I’m focusing on the straightforward principle that says “trade can make everyone better off.” Mentioned earlier, this correlates with the trading that might occur during the KRS period.

In conclusion, there’s more to this KRS experience and feel free to think or disagree. Nevertheless, there’s an economist and a businessperson in us and as a result, we have those traits. Now, I’m left with a handful of expectations that the choices I made will turn out okay. Likewise, I’m wishing yours is fine as well. All the best of luck and keep fighting!

A First Time for Everything

A few months ago, I read several parts from Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence book and immersed myself with the interesting points he stated. In fact, he popularized the term Emotional Quotient (EQ), which is the ability of people to recognize their own and other people’s emotions. Based on his in depth research, he explicitly emphasized that EQ accounts for 80 percent for one’s life success while IQ contributes the remaining 20 percent. Although the accurate proportion remains to be debated, experts have proven how EQ matters significantly.

I was first drawn to this topic when my dad offered me to join the “Emotional Quality Management” workshop last holiday. My parents encouraged me to join as they felt the importance of it for my future. In between a pleasant vacation and a wonderful internship experience, curiosity had driven me to learn other things as well. So I decided to buy the book to catch a glimpse about what was going to be discussed. The workshop itself was amazing and it exceeded my expectations. The materials were comprehendible throughout the three-day workshop. They were relevant and relatable, filled with real stories and experiences, supported by a theoretical basis.

However, there’s always a first time for everything. Unlike any other workshops I’ve ever joined, this was a whole new experience. I had been warned since the day I registered that I might feel a bit uncomfortable with the upcoming situation. It took me several emails to convince them that I wouldn't drop my decision because of it. Easier said than done, it turned out that I didn't anticipate about what was going to happen.

The minute I walked out the lift, I froze myself feeling mortified. As the door opened, everyone went in and I was out of my comfort zone being in the middle of professionals from various industries. It felt like being in the middle of my parents’ colleagues and friends with a twist that they were going to be my peers for the next three days at least. As soon as the first day went by, I realized that the chance to “practice” was just in front of me. After all, it was a worthy experience.

In brief, what I learned about EQ and IQ made sense. Things can’t be logical all the time and it’s more than just learning the theory of EQ itself. At that point, I was anxious that I would be disconnected from everybody and be an awkward outsider instead- while camouflaging myself to stay cool and calm on the outside. 

Time went by and things were easing. I had an enjoyable time talking and learning from such strong individuals. They were nice and friendly especially in responding my wonderings in a lot of aspects; work, life, work-life, parenting, etc. 

Looking back, it occurred to me: Were I a 20-year old me, would things had gone differently? Would I still seek the answers to my wonderings or keep it to myself instead? 

I’ve always wanted to grow as a person and be prepared for what's about to come- to fight fear and doubts for hope and trust, to lose, and win. But I soon realized that practice takes time, I’m still young and I should just enjoy the ride instead of rushing everything and expect perfection. Well, even when I'm no longer young, I still want to believe that there’s a first time in everything. I guess it’s okay to be wrong when you strive for great things and learn from it. Nevertheless, everyone can be learner or a teacher in some ways. Some might be both at the same time.